A gal like me!

I’m writing this to express my feelings regarding a sensitive issue. My life hasn’t always been easy, not even today as I write this. I read alot about how people feel about other people and see how it affects their lives and it hurts me. I’ve always considered myself out spoken, saying what I want, what I think or feel. I have never really took into consideration what other people think, As i do today. But even still, I myself have suffered from mental illness due to the loss of air my mother suffered from when my father killed her. Yes I said killed her. When they brought her back the Dr’s said I’d be born retarded. No its not a bad word, it isn’t a shame. Its fact! Just as recently as 2 1/2 years ago in one year was in the hospital for overdose and on one of the incidents i was in a Coma more than a week and almost died, was mad when I lived. All because of the man I was with and how he treated me these past 13 years. Bipolar, schzophrenia, social anxiety disorder and depression have lived here many years. Meds, sure, some. But, I understand that I am the ruler of this vessel. This vessel has only one leader and that leader is me. So for that I will not allow my life to be affected by other people. I know my worth. I do love me and love the fact that I can be me because I choose to. My rules, my choice, my way. And the truth is I do understand that just because I am capable of being who I am doesn’t 1. Make me better than anyone, 2. Everyone can’t do what I do and 3. My way isn’t everybody else’s way. So in the end I can’t help anyone, But there’s still a hope inside of me that’s true and real that desires to make a little difference in someone’s life, Some how help, kind of a “pay it forward thing.” We all have to live here, we all have our space and I play by the rules and expect others to do the same. My life is lived by principles, standards and common sense. I wish everyone the very best of everything they live and hope for. And hope that I serve a purpose in this life that’s positive.

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