Let it be, after the storm…

well its been a couple days since My daughter and I have spoke. I don’t like her choices,  and not the fact that I’m being disrespected in my own home it really pisses me off. Growing up, she was always hard to discipline, and had an issue with female authority. Today at 27 she hasn’t changed much, just got bigger. She wants to make her own choices and learn the hard way, go for it. I’ve already concluded that she and I will never have the mother/daughter thing that I thought we’d work on this time around. Nope, she isn’t even giving me the chance. She doesn’t want to be under My eye or hear when she makes a mistake, fine, go learn on your own. After all I’m “just another gal.”

What once was my one greatest accomplishment has obviously became my biggest failure. The sad realization that I will never have the daughter I always wanted, thought was a blessing from God turned out over-rated.

I’ve had to mark others off my list, in fact all these years I’ve spent have been spent without any family interaction what so ever. I was abandoned long ago. By everyone.

Is it because im trans, no. Its called life. A very disappointing one at that. Life will go on as it always has. Me picking up pieces that others scatter in the mist of my efforts and eagerness to help.

I told you so, doesn’t work, it just pushes them further away. Sometimes people really do have to learn the hard way, I did.

2 thoughts on “Let it be, after the storm…

  1. I honestly wish I had a daughter-mother relationship with my own mother, but she puts her men first and always has and I’ve always been a “problem”. Your daughter is lucky to have an awesome mom like you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. she doesn’t seem to realize that, and its just another ugly reminder of all my failure. I’ve reached my point where I’ve got to write her off as I did with the rest of my entire family years ago. Like you, I find it hard to be strong and keep going, and I do my best to keep my head up and be strong but like you said people don’t understand. And they don’t really care. Hopefully I’m not a trigger to you because its not my intention. and there isn’t a reason for anyone to envy me because I really don’t have it together like petiole may think. But after years of struggle I’ve made it to the point of being able to keep above water but even that has its limits and days where I derrail. Remember: everything that glitters isn’t gold. I try to remember that. But iI am just a bad reminder, I don’t want to be a bother and will refrain from any influencial or encouraging dialog. Its just nice to have someone respond to my post instead of just ignoring it, so with that I will say be well and best wishes.

      Like

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