An alien in my own community!

As a transgendered woman I have to say that I have always been some-what of an outcast in the so called Transgendered community. It isn’t a bad thing I must admit, in some ways.

Let me explain to you why I say that. As some know I was given to the state at the age of 11 and by the age of 14 was already living my own life in Hollywood, California. I was in a boy’s home, to be held until the age of 18. But it wasn’t what I wanted so I ran at at 14. I knew I wanted to be a girl and that was my plan. Now at that age I didn’t know about Trans or anything else for that matter. I felt like I was all alone. Then at 17 I ended up in the county jail. While there i was placed into a wing with nothing but other people like me, but in every shape and form. Yes I was surprised and fascinated at the same time.

During my time in jail I realized that they all seemed to behave in a way that made me want to stay in my cell, away from all of them. Not only were they very loud, flamboyant and sassy. But they were very competitive, jealous and vindictive. I had never experienced this behavior nor been around it and it scared me.

Very young my life was surrounded with adults that were what I like to call normal. Only in the sense that they behaved like men and women. Sure, they were heterosexual. But they didn’t act as if they were looking for approval, attention or behave in that way that made me feel uncomfortable.

During my stay there many of the girls played house, others hustled. But I always seemed to either be in my cell or talking to old timers that had been around the block a time or two. And would rather have learned something I could use rather than be involved in the loud nonsense these girls had going on all the time.

Bottom line is I’m not a “Ru-gurl” or involved in the drag, club or circles that are involved in anything Trans. Never have been and probably never be. I am a woman and I act like one.

Today’s generation is so different as well as all the new labels that now exist and continue to grow. I’ve been accused of thinking that I was better than everyone. On the contrary I like to think that with the help that jerry springer and countless others have made people think about Trans people. I want them to see a difference. I don’t go to pride. I’m not an advocate or even a voice. But rather just another gal that is trying to live right and not help exploit or hinder the many gals that still struggle because they are who they are. I live a normal life filled with the real life struggles everyone’s going through.

With technology being what it is today and the trans having other Trans mom’s, sisters and aunties to help them transition and teach them. It’s nothing like it was when I grew up. I am appalled at what I see and hear and read regarding our community. I am ignorant of what the trans community is doing because I have never been a part of it. I’m straight and was raised by straight people and my circles were straight. But I’m trans.

Wow. What a dilemma right? Not really. I find myself at an age where I realize that my life has been filled with many ups and downs and I feel that I can be an inspiration, rather than a competition, To the many gals like I used to be, who think they are alone.

I’ve read a lot of advice being given from people that make no sense and it doesn’t surprise me that the community is in the situation it is in at this time.

How can you make a difference when you continue to give in to the stereotypes, labels and ideas people have about Trans people by continuing to life lives as you do.

Our world is dying! Ignorance is the killer not diversity.


3 thoughts on “An alien in my own community!

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