Christmas…

Christmas hasn’t been merry since I was that little boy that Grandpa played Santa for with the entire family gathered next to the tree at auntie’s house. A Bright and Decorated tree filled with mountains of gifts underneath, Grandpa calling each of our names giving gifts, as well as the family unity and love that was displayed well into the new year. And well into all year long. Every Christmas since those days has been an unsuccessful attempt to duplicate a very simple memory from a very young boy abandoned to the ward of the state at the age of 11 and a constant reminder of four decades trying to be apart of the very loved ones world, I only knew as a child. Christmas really is just another day for me to use, as everyday, a means to define who I am, what I believe and what I will and will not accept in my life as I continue to define it. Honestly other than the food and the fact that my boyfriend doesn’t have to work for a week it’s really not different than any other day. It really takes more than one day out of the year to be merry. Real life is hard and you have to work at it to be happy. I don’t want the yearly Christmas card attached with simple tradition and no love attached to it. It doesn’t mean anything to me! but I do wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New year because I will. And have started my New year already, as always I am ahead of myself. So I say “give Christmas to the children” it’s the only Merry Christmas they’re going to have unless they are successful young adults and grow up and create a family for themselves and they make themselves a Merry Christmas!

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