So far, so good!

The new year has settled in for me already and it’s pretty much back to the grind. These past three years have been filled with plenty of struggle.  Mood swings,  depression, suicidal thoughts.

I had a full plate for sure.  I have had to come to the realization about many things in my life. I had to work on myself, put myself back together. I didn’t know a divorce could put a person through what I endured. It’s aftermath seems so much more painful than the actual abuse itself. It was the best diet program I’ve ever been on and it worked.

Yes, one of my realizations was my weight.  At 210 lbs. and 5’5 down to 137 lbs. I just couldn’t eat and always felt sick. But I have realized that I can look as good at a more reasonable and healthy weight,  perhaps 146 lbs. Yep,  had to learn to eat all over again these past three years without that twisted man in my life.


Left photos are after my divorce, right photos are during my marriage to a monster.

Left photos are after my divorce, right photos are during my marriage to a monster.

Rethinking everything in your life and fixing the cracks and flaws takes a tremendous amount of energy and discipline. Straight out! It’s fucking hard as fuck. PERIOD!

I’ve always been a blunt outspoken person, bad tempered, an alcoholic and pill popper. So harnessing the ability to communicate,  control my temper,  think before I react, etc.

But after three years and two months I can say that I have really made it back to reality.

This is three year’s after divorce:

This is during my marriage:

Today I can say I am sober and drug free. Mentally aware and in control of my new life. I feel like an old teenager learning about life, a good life. A life without abuse, drugs and toxicity .

Yes, another realization has been that each day is it’s own. It may be a good one,  an ok one, or maybe even shitty. But it goes with life’s territory.

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