Started a PayPal money pool

Recently it came necessary to do something about the routing deck or back. I’ve fallen through holes. I’m afraid someone else may get hurt. Any amount helps. If everyone have just a dollar. …

When life gets so great.

It has came to my Attention, along with many other things in my old age and new life. Wisdom? I don’t have a clue, But I’m convinced that happiness and contentment are cultivated and developed through the many decades of struggle, hardships, shattered dreams and broken commitments. And a great deal of persistence and determination.

Life is a process that with age brings about a many array of changes. How you think about things, react to things. Perspectives change. Ideas and goals.

But most importantly one can’t help but respond to all these changes by somehow finding themselves changing in little subtle ways at first and then in more drastic ways later.

This is when we truly begin to experience a great life.

I spent decades in a life filled with addictions, prostitution, the porn industry,crime and prison. Two failed marriages. And a shit load of menories.

But today i am free of addiction and sober. Healthy at 57 years old. Life is great because i came to terms with the things i could change and did. And the things i had no control over- let’s at i don’t give them much of my energy these days. I am in a wonderful relationship and in a stable place in life right now.

i literally have no need for anything at all. yes having reached this point can at times be boring. But embrace it because you earned it.

Just another gal

My candor on family.

We’re all born with one and they all consist of their own set of traditions, rules and dysfunctions. 1 unique thread that almost most families seem to have is an eternal Bond, love and a sense of connection. However after years of my own observation, I now see that so many people take so much for granted including family and foremost.

After many years let’s just say I have a history of sorts. But I’ll tell you after an eight year stay in the department of corrections you learn how to appreciate the littlest things in life that we usually take for granted on a daily basis.

For example: the smell of the ground when the first rain comes, the new buds of green life sprouting and the sounds of birds singing and the feel of raindrops.

As a troubled child I remember many phone call attempts home for help that were ended in being hung up on or remarks were made like “you got yourself in that you’ll figure a way out’. By 11 years old I was a ward of the state, by the age of 14 I was on the streets of Hollywood and it wasn’t to be a Famous Star. No, it was to be a whore, an alcoholic, a druggie, a liar and a criminal.

And to all them hardships there wasn’t a year that went by that my attempts for help were ignoreded by Family.

It took a lot of religion and many years on the study of forgiveness for me to understand that forgiveness was never about me and everything about the person you are forgiving, including family. For four and a half decades whether I’m in and out of trouble I have always stayed in touch with my family I have always let them know my address, my contact info, my whereabouts, my health and anything and everything about me and who I am but there has never been any reciprocation of any sort…. Why is that, I wonder.

In a way I’m still that little innocent child wanting to be loved by a family that didn’t want anything to do with him.

Today at age 57 I find myself with a clan of first, second, third cousins, neices, nephews.

But one thing has never changed. I know nothing of these people and have been shut out of their lives for decades and never given a chance.

I wonder why do so many people cry at funerals. It’s Soo cliche’ these days. We’re you even in their lives, did you even appreciate them.

It pains new to see individuals in life with families that care so intently on them, yet they are so self centered and involved with their own lives that the lives of those that care so much for you go on ignored in so many little ways.

And we have all heard “it’s the little foxes that spoil the vineyard.” Ha!

Did my mother ever think that family meant anyhing? I sure made several attempts in over four decades and I think not.

Don’t wait too long to send that text, card or phone call just to say hello. When you find yourself getting old and alone with no family to lean on. It truly sucks.

I love my daughter and appreciate her!

Reasoning for my “my fund raising”

For twelve and a half years I have lived in this home and have extended my hospitality to others on need. I suffered a great loss of everything from tools, dishes, towels and plenty of household items damaged.

Three and a half years I have struggled to get rid of every irresponsible free loading individual from the premises. While suffering a severe loss. I drowned in bills which left the property in fear of a lien. I Was left with loads of garbage to rid the property of. Even a Ford 151 full of a year and a half of junk.

Take a look at the difference:


But with the pipes busted, the back deck rotting away and ungrounded wrong work. It’s going to cost. My sister in law and myself are both on SSI which pays 751.00 a month.

I’ve done the math!

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